A Conversation with Comedian Brice Evans
“Bombing on stage isn't something that deeply affects me. I think the worst is yet to come.”
For well over a decade now, Brice Evans has been a mainstay of the southern Illinois music community, playing beer-soaked basements and crowded bars with punk bands Bad Taste, The Regulars, and Jesse & the Pinkmen. I first met Brice during the Myspace era when we were both instead playing churches, VFW halls, and DIY all age venues with local scene bands.
We became friends pretty instantly, bonding over ghost stories, early emo music, and comedy. For as long as I’ve known Brice, he has always been quick to say one of the filthiest, funniest, least predictable things you’ve ever heard. Once, about fourteen or fifteen years ago, after working a shift at West City Applebee’s, I called Brice to tell him that a fellow line cook had said the disgusting phrase, “Man, I would eat a mile of her shit just to see where it came from.”
Brice exclaimed, “Dude! I say that all the time!”
And to this day, I don’t know if Brice actually really has ever said that unholy combination of words or if he just said he did because it was the funniest possible thing to say in that moment.
Another time, about twelve years ago, I hosted a roast of my friend in honor of his 30th birthday. Brice had the most memorable joke of the night with: “Well, as we all know he used to be addicted to pills…” —this was true, and, in the moment, honestly kind of heartbreakingly devastating for all of us that had been trying to help my friend through his addiction. I mean, both my friend’s parents were there. I could feel their pain in my chest.
Brice waited a beat, delighting in the suffocating silence, before delivering the line:
“But at least we know now they weren’t diet pills!”
The whole place came down and my friend has been stone sober ever since (this is also true). Brice may not have killed anyone with his humor yet, but he’s helped save at least one life.
Recently, I was able to catch up with Brice to talk about what inspired him to start comedy, being unafraid of failure, and the art of telling dirty jokes while a family of five is just trying to enjoy their chimichangas ten feet away.
Our conversation follows.
I’m sure people have been telling you for years that you should try standup comedy. What inspired you to finally try it?
I have wanted to do standup since grade school. I remember my dad watching some kind of standup on television when I was a kid, but he had to change the channel every time I entered the room because I wasn't allowed to hear the dirty jokes. The only other thing that I wasn't allowed to see on TV were titties. If this comedy stuff was in the same realm as titties...I needed to be in that realm. I would stay up late and watch Def Comedy Jam on HBO as well as whatever specials they had on.
It was a lot of things all rolled together. My wife kind of became the voice that was saying "just do it" every time I brought it up. Leading up to me getting on stage, 2019 was a terrible year. We lost my father-in-law, and he truly was my hero. My grandma had an accident that left her without the use of her left side. Our dog passed away. It was just awful, man. In the midst of that, I sold a sock hat to Doug Stanhope on eBay. I placed value in that as if it were a sign to do what I want. Then we went out to LA in March of 2020 to visit my father in law's wife, Amy. She is also someone that I really look up to. We went to see Dean Del Ray, Marc Maron, and Bill Burr do comedy followed by a Bon Scott era AC/DC tribute set (my favorite band.) I knew that I was going to do it for sure after that. The very next day, the world shut down. We were in LAX with people who were petrified. Little did I know, it would be another year of waiting before I got on stage.
There was a show at Hangar 9 in Carbondale. James Boucher and Andrew Gaffigan, both St. Louis comics, kicked off the show. They were so good that it put my stomach in knots. It genuinely made me nervous. I wasn't sure I could be at that level. Then I saw some pretty bad acts (as well as some more good ones) and was assured that I could do that at the very least. They were both super good dudes and told me how to find open mics in St. Louis. When mics started opening back up in 2021, I went to the very first one I could.
What was your first set like?
My first set was in Belleville, IL in the back of a Mexican restaurant. It went about as well as you would imagine open mic standup going in the back of a Mexican restaurant. Most of the audience members were ambushed by the comedy. Just a family of 5 trying to get through their chimichangas while I scream about my wiener. It was rough. I did like 14 minutes, which could have probably been 3-4 if I knew how to edit back then. I listened back to that set several times. I said the F word over 100 times and quit counting. Still, I had one kid who was with me from the beginning to the end and that was enough.
A lot of people asked me if I traveled two hours out of my way so that people wouldn't see me bomb. I didn't. I was ready to bomb. My greatest fear was people laughing at me that were supporting me out of love. I can't think of anything worse than that. Any laugh I got that night was genuine.
Did you have to overcome any performance anxiety or doubts in order to start?
I had my doubts for sure. I knew that I could make people laugh, and I had confidence in public speaking, but there was something almost sinister that I couldn't put my finger on. Maybe it was the feeling that if it didn't work out that I was going to lose a piece of my identity?
I think I had some anxiety at first that I didn't really recognize. I would get the strangest nervous stomach. I would have to take two super healthy poops, not diarrhea, right before I got on stage. I felt fine, but something about it activated my butt BIG TIME! I would get a sudden urge to go. It was like seeing a pregnant woman give birth to a perfectly healthy baby and going back to the hospital to give birth to another one. Now I no longer poop right before shows.
Best to save it for the stage.
Did you approach starting out with comedy differently than you did when you first started playing music?
Playing in bands is way easier because there is so much more to hide behind. In comedy, you can't turn your guitar down when shit goes sideways. When you forget lyrics in a punk band, you can mush-mouth your way through it. If you forget one word in a set-up, the recovery is a lot more difficult.
How long have you been doing standup now?
One and a half years. I did a roast like 10 years ago as well as comedic public speaking in high school and college, but I'm not counting that stuff.
What’s been the hardest lesson you’ve had to learn in that time?
The hardest lesson I have had to learn is that just because a joke has worked every time, doesn't mean that it will always work. I think comedy is like a cancer treatment. It works most of the time, but sometimes the body doesn't respond how we would like.
What are you still trying to learn?
I have so much to learn, I'm not sure where to start. I suck at promoting myself. My crowd work is rickety. My networking is abysmal. I need stage time more than anything, but we live in a damned comedy desert.
What’s your writing process like for your comedy sets? How do you build on a simple joke concept to get to more weighty material?
The writing process is pretty simple. I get in my car and start talking to myself. Once I say something that I think is funny or an interesting take, I just start riffing to myself. Then it has a snowball effect picking up tags, callbacks, etc. I record my set on stage and see how much of my snowball survived. Then I start over. It's more like a perpetual stew kind of thing. Constantly adding to and taking from...
Wow, two analogies to explain how to make one poop joke last 5 minutes...
Do you have a recent example of how you took a bit from an idea to a more established joke?
I have two bits right now that are getting laughs and compliments, but there is too much down time in both of them, so I think I have figured out how to marry them into one good bit. Synopsis: I like being at a new job because you can blame most of your mistakes on "not being trained." I had a friend who got out of sweeping a restaurant by telling his manager he didn't know how and that he would have to be trained. The benefit to starting a new job is that they don't know how stupid you are. "He can't sweep? But he is well-versed in powerpoint and excel?"
WOW! SOUNDS LIKE A REAL LAUGH RIOT WHEN I TYPE IT OUT!
I'm coupling that with a story of the time I had to wipe a kid's ass for the first time when I worked for a children's shelter. I had never wiped anyone's ass but mine, and I did not do a very good job at all. I was probably wayyyyy too rough with it. But in my defense, I didn't have any training. Funnier now? I dunno. I haven't put it on stage yet.
With how personal (or blue) your comedy can be, who has it been more difficult to share this part of your life with? Has it been more difficult to share it with people who are close to you or with acquaintances who may only know you in a limited capacity like from work?
I think that it is easier to say the stuff that shouldn't be shared in public for two reasons:
1. They want to see you naked.
2. They want a representative. They want you to vocalize the thing that maybe they thought or did and didn't want anyone else to know about. But here you are talking about it publicly.
There’s an ephemeral quality to standup comedy where it often only exists for a brief moment for those who are in the room with you. Do you prefer it that way or would you want to eventually record clips of your shows to be shared on TikTok or Instagram where comedy seems to be more frequently leaning?
I need to start posting clips for sure. I just haven't done it because I am a wuss about putting myself out there. I like that I walk into a room right now and what happens there is gone like flash paper. Still, that's not going to help me get anywhere. I need to start posting clips and moving forward with better self promotion.
What’s been the best crowd reaction you’ve gotten from a set?
The best reaction is just anytime someone approaches me and offers me a gig after my set or tells me what joke in particular they liked the most. I did a show at the Liberty theater in Murphysboro, and the laughs in there felt like a tidal wave when they hit the stage.
What’s been the worst?
Bombing isn't something that deeply affects me. I think the worst is yet to come. So far, I've viewed everything as a learning experience.
What is the worst backhanded compliment you’ve ever received after a comedy show or a concert?
I don't know if I have ever gotten one purposely. I will say that one time my old band, The Shakes, played a set in Carbondale and my friend said "man, you guys played with a lot of good bands tonight."
What’s the biggest difference between doing comedy shows and playing concerts?
The biggest difference is that when someone says, "that was a great set," after a comedy show, they don't follow it with, "can I borrow your amp?"
Which is the most fun and which one is scarier?
Equally as fun. Comedy is scarier.
Have you found the Comedy Scene to be as accepting as the Carbondale Music scene? Have you noticed any differences between the two?
They are super similar. It seems like the first people I have always encountered in artistic communities are the gatekeepers, over posturing hacks, rule makers, and all around garbage humans with misdirected hostility and boundless insecurities. I don't know why that is. Anyway, it can take a minute, but you will find the right people in any scene. Both scenes are great when you find the right people.
Also, so many comedians seem to lack normal conversation skills. I don't know what that is, but it's almost like they only allow themselves so many words and they use most of them on stage.
What are you hoping to accomplish in the next year with your comedy?
My hope is to get some hosting and feature gigs in some clubs in nearby cities. I think that is realistic. Also, I want to write a joke that actually kills someone. An acquaintance made someone shit themselves at a comedy show recently. That was my previous goal. Now I have a new angle. I don't care what their current health history is, I just want to know that my joke stopped their heart or exploded their brain.
What’s next?
I have a show coming up on December 30th at Celebrations Event Center in Marion, IL. I'll be opening alongside David Kirk, Matt Jones, and Edward Bowen for the headliner Bobby Jaycox. He's currently on tour with Nikki Glaser. You can get tickets here.
That will be great. I'm also hosting a trivia night for TLD, a charity for children with special needs, in Marion, IL on January 14th. You can get tickets for that here.
Bonus Questions / Top Fives (Bonus Points For Elaborating On Your Ranks):
Who/What are your All Time…
I am answering these with almost zero thought because I have too many decision-making hang-ups. Don't hold me to any of this publicly.
Top 5 Favorite Horror Movies?
The Thing (1982) MAN v man v nature v self all in one amazing plot packed with blood and guts!!!
Videodrome - Cronenberg is a fully cooked David Lynch. All of his stuff is weird AND IT STILL MAKES SENSE!
Demon Knight - Just a wild ride of a movie. William Sadler should be the lead in more stuff.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) - How did Wes Craven pull off such a high concept character?
Monster Squad - Comfort food in celluloid form.
Who Would Win If All the Killers/Monsters from 70s through 90s Horror All Existed Within the Same Reality & They Royal Rumbled to the Death?
It would have to be Pinhead. He can banish people to other realms. That's a win. Also, he would enjoy any pain you inflicted upon him. So, he still wins.
Top 5 Favorite Comedians?
Dave Chappelle
Dave Attell
Neal Brennan
Bernie Mac
Bill Hicks
Least Favorite Comedians?
There are so many. There are superstars that I do not get, but they have MILLIONS of fans. So, what do I know? What I hate the most is anyone who uses comedy as a platform to get claps for whatever their personal beliefs may be. I'm sick of the echo chamber. This ain't facebook. Get your likes elsewhere.
Top 5 Favorite Danes?
Dane Johns (big peepee)
Lars Ulrich (small peepee)
Viggo Mortenson (first and only actor I know to 69 in a non porn movie bonus points to Cronenberg)
King Diamond (I don't like his music, but man what great makeup)
Disdain (my reason for getting out of bed!)
Top 5 Favorite Albums?
Weezer - Pinkerton (melancholy)
AC/DC - Let There Be Rock (confidence)
Black Flag - First Four Years (anxiety)
The Bronx - II (resilience)
The Replacements - Tim (nostalgia)
Top 5 Favorite Songs You’ve Written or Played On?
Bad Taste - Electric Chair (Cherry)
https://lostcrossrecords.bandcamp.com/track/bad-taste-electric-chair
Bad Taste - TV Tumors
https://badtaste618.bandcamp.com/track/tv-tumors
The Shakes - Full Moon Freakout
https://theshakesmusic.bandcamp.com/track/full-moon-freakout-underwear-wolf
The Regulars - Some Kind of Mistake
https://theregularsrock.bandcamp.com/track/some-kind-of-mistake
Jesse and the Pinkmen - Granite State
https://jesseandthepinkmen.bandcamp.com/album/rock-n-roll-me-further-bitch
What’s the Last Thing That Made You Really Mad?
I have one good freakout every 8-10 years. The last one was pretty recent. My wife and I went to see David Spade in St. Louis. It was great, but this drunk lady would not be quiet behind us. "What's he talking about? What is Grow Ups? It's a movie? Well, I have never heard of it. Must not be good." Stuff like that for almost his whole set. Eventually, I stewed long enough and asked her to keep it down. She then began saying "REALLY??? ReALlY?? reeeeeAAALLLY?" while lunging at me from her seat. I eventually karate chopped the air between us and seethed "shut the fuck up," through my teeth. I was prepared for the guy she was with to kick the shit out of me, but I think I looked crazy enough that he didn't want to chance dealing with a maniac. It was not a proud moment. Although, the dude sitting right next to her smiled and nodded at me afterward because everyone in our seating area had had it with her shit. I then turned around in my seat like nothing had happened and watched Joe Dirt tell some jokes for 15 more minutes or so. I probably looked like I was about to assemble a sniper rifle and shoot him from the balcony I sat in. We then went across town and watched Pauly Shore.
What’s the Last Thing That Made You Laugh?
I'm a simple creature, I laugh constantly. I relive a few moments from recent times weekly though.
For example, one of my best friends somehow lives the strangest life without anyone knowing it. Recently, he told me the craziest stories about doing drugs in a "monkey barn" in the middle of Missouri. There was a monkey sanctuary that his friend's family owned. They would get super high on psychedelics and the monkeys would just lose their minds and scream at them for hours. Every once in a while they would get too high and too close to a monkey cage and the monkeys would grab them and refuse to let go. I don't know who it's more frightening for, the dudes tripping or the monkeys. Also, the thought of someone asking what happened to him the next day only for him to look down at his arms "completely covered in monkey bruises" cracks me up.
What Do You Think Happens When We Die?
WE? I'm going to heaven. The rest of you are on your own.
But seriously, my hope is that there is only heaven for everyone. Even the people we don't like.
Yup, even Kanye.
Catch Brice at the Celebrations Event Center in Marion, Illinois this Friday, Dec. 30th. You can also follow him online: @bri7s on instagram/twitter to keep up with the next time he’s playing a set near you.