Best of 2023 — Dane C. Johns

Hey, here are my favorite movies, tv shows, music, books, and other things of 2023

Best Movies of 2023

1- The Holdovers

Set in 1970, the Holdovers tells the story of a small group of outcasts who remain behind at a boarding school during Christmas break. By the end of the movie, you will be willing to fight someone in the parking lot for any of the three main characters. Thankfully, I didn’t have to, but I would. Trust me. The Holdovers stars Paul Giamatti and is currently streaming on Peacock. It's not a violent movie so I don't know why anyone would actually want to fight about it.

2- Asteroid City

In the latest from Wes Anderson, a UFO crashes a 1955 Junior Stargazer convention in the desert, leading to various whimsical, existential follies. Asteroid City features a loaded cast with Jason Schwartzman, Scarlett Johansson, Tom Hanks, Jeffrey Wright, Tilda Swinton, Bryan Cranston, Ed Norton, Steve Carell, Margot Robbie, and several other actors that will have you looking up IMDb midway through the movie because you just can’t place where you recognize them from. Asteroid City is streaming on Amazon Prime.

3- Knock at the Cabin
Knock at the Cabin is the newest movie by my favorite (and a lot of people’s least favorite) filmmaker M. Night Shyamalan. Based on the 2018 novel, The Cabin at the End of the World by Paul Tremblay, Knock at the Cabin tells the story of a family taken captive by armed strangers who demand that the family make a difficult choice in order to avoid the apocalypse. Knock at the Cabin is now streaming on Amazon Prime and it rules.

4- Oppenheimer

Biopic about the guy who invented the atomic bomb. Oppenheimer is three hours long, yet it’s edited and paced incredibly so it doesn’t feel near as long. Directed by Christopher Nolan (The Dark Knight, Interstellar, Inception etc). Starring Cillian Murphy, Emily Blunt, Robert Downey Jr., Florence Pugh, and Matt Damon. It’s not currently on any streaming services, but you can get it VOD from Amazon Prime or AppleTV.

5- Beau is Afraid

One of my better moves of 2023 was making my friends David & Wes go sit in a cramped theater for three hours to see this super weird movie soon after we finished running the Nashville half-marathon. Still, despite not being a great movie to drag your friends to post-run, I really loved Beau is Afraid. I loved how it made me rethink my own anxiousness, how I kept thinking about it for days and weeks afterwards, and how it made me tear-up when the main character was re-united with his sons that never even existed—which isn’t really a spoiler, because I don’t think it’s that possible to spoil this movie.

Beau is Afraid is also this year’s winner of The Lobster Award, named for the time that Sierra Porritt watched the Lobster based on my year end list and then got mad at me for it. So, take that for what it’s worth. Despite not being super accessible to audiences (in the literal or metaphorical sense), Beau is Afraid is easily accessible to stream on Amazon Prime, Hulu, Paramount+/Showtime, and VOD everywhere else.

6- The Killer

Michael Fassbender plays a hitman in a fresh take on the classic hit-gone-wrong story trope. Each scene kept me totally engaged and I found myself not wanting the movie to end. The Killer is streaming on Netflix.

7- Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Like most people, I loved the first installment in the Miles Morales Spider-Verse movies (2018’s Spider-Man: In the Spider-Verse). This new one takes all that we loved about the first (the animation style, the character depth, the humor) and brings it a couple of steps further. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse is now streaming on Netflix.

8- No One Will Save You

This one’s a home invasion movie that doubles as an alien invasion movie. It’s not close to perfect and is straight-up silly at times, but I really enjoyed the alien design and how tense it remained throughout. No One Will Save You is streaming on Hulu.

9- Running With Our Eyes Closed: Jason Isbell Music Doc

This music documentary centers around the recording of Isbell’s 2020 album Reunions. It’s an honest look at Isbell’s career, his struggles with alcoholism, and his marriage to songwriter /400 Unit Bandmate, Amanda Shires. It’s available to watch on HBOMax, which is now just called Max for whatever reason.

10- The Super Mario Bros Movie (3X)

The Super Mario Bros Movie is the most stoked my family and I have ever cumulatively been for a movie. So, I was worried that due to that high-level of anticipation, we were set up for some real disappointment when an animated movie based on a video game about plumber siblings turned out to be just that. However, that wasn’t the case at all. The Super Mario Bros Movie offered just as much fun as it did fan-service. If you have kids, you’ve probably already seen this movie multiple times, so you don’t need me to tell you that it’s streaming on Netflix.

Honorable Mentions Listed in Descending Order of Favoriteness (not a word)

Best Marvel Movie Amid a Series of Duds: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 (Disney+)

Best Movie That the Majority of My Friends Hated: Leave the World Behind (Netflix)

Best Uh-Oh Dad’s Going to Rant About Whatever a Technodrome Is: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (Paramount+)

Best It’s Not an Easter Movie but Look At All Those Easter Eggs: Wish

Best Comedy: Barbie (Max)

Better Than You Heard It Was: The Marvels

Fun Horror Movie: Nun 2 (Max)

Not At All Fun Horror Movie: Talk to Me (VOD)

(^^^also the winner of How Much Longer is this Movie Because I’m Actually Scared & Not Having a Good Time category)

Best Affleck Hair: Air (Prime)

Best Wholesome Family Movie: Migration (in theaters now)

Best Ezra & Dad Movie – Gran Turismo (Netflix)

Best Movie to Get Me on a Rant About How Recent Pixar/Disney Movies Actually Aren’t That Bad: Elemental (Disney+)

Most Disappointing Movie: Next Goal Wins (Max)

Best Sports Documentaries

1- Destination NBA: A G League documentary (Prime)

2- Untold: The Johnny Manziel story (Netflix)

3- BS High (Max)

4- Underrated: Steph Curry doc (AppleTV)

5- Hard Knocks: New York Jets (Max)

6- Quarterback Season 1 (Netflix)

Rewatchables

1- Interstellar

2- End of Tour

3- Up in the Air

4- Creed

Favorite TV Shows of 2023

1- Barry (on Max)

2- Succession (Max)

3- How to with John Wilson (Max)

4- Ted Lasso (AppleTV)

5- The Bear (Hulu)

6- Dave (Hulu)

7- Shrinking (AppleTV)

8- Righteous Gemstones (Max)

9- Justified: City Primeval (Hulu)

10- Scavenger’s Reign (Max)

11- Scott Pilgrim Takes Off (Netflix)

12- Last of Us (Max)

13- The Mandalorian (Disney+)

14- Asoka (Disney+)

15- Loki (Disney+)

Not Included in the List Above But the Show I Watched the Most in 2023 & I Have Takes: Survivor (finished seasons 44&45, then watched older seasons: 34, 35, 36).

Trash Shows I Watched W/ Stacy & Talked Trash:

Love Is Blind (Seasons 3 & 4), The Ultimatum (Season 3)

Best I Think You Should Leave Skits:

1- Nude Egg

2- Summer Fling Zipline

3- the Driving Crooner

4- Gelutol

Shows I Started but Didn’t Finish: Daisy Jones & the Six, The Diplomat, Platonic, Silo, Invincible s2

Favorite Rewatch: Lost (Seasons 1-3)

Best True Crime Doc: The Murdaugh Murders (Netflix)

Best Doc Series: UFO Series on Hulu

Favorite Standup Specials:

John Mulaney- Baby J (Netflix)

Marc Maron From Bleak to Dark (Max)

Best Music of 2023

1- The National - Laugh Track

Favorite Songs: “Space Invader,” “Smoke Detector,” & “Deep End (Paul’s in Pieces)”

2- The National - First 2 Pages of Frankenstein

Favorite Songs: “New Order T-Shirt,” “Send for Me,” & “Alien”

3- Slaughter Beach, Dog- Crying, Laughing, Waving, Smiling

Favorite Songs: “Engine,” “My Sister in Jesus Christ,” & “Float Away.”

4- Militarie Gun - Life Under the Gun

Favorite Songs: “Very High,” “My Friends Are Having a Hard Time,” & “Do It Faster”

5- Boygenius- The Record

Favorite Songs: “Satanist,” “$20,” & “Cool About It”

6- Jason Isbell- Weathervanes

Favorite Songs: “When We Were Close” & “King of Oklahoma”

7- Sufjan Stevens- Javelin

Favorite Songs: “So You Are Tired” & “Everything That Rises”

8- Blink 182- One More Time

Favorite Songs: “More Than You Know” & “One More Time”

9- The Mountain Goats - Jenny From Thebes

Favorite Songs: “Fresh Tattoo” & “Only One Way”

10- Wilco- Cousin

Favorite Songs: “Evicted” & “Sunlight Ends”

Honorable Mentions- Listed in Descending Order of Favorability

Best Album Title: Jeff Rosenstock – Hellmode

Best EP: Manchester Orchestra - Valley of Vision EP

Best Album I Liked More Than I Admit: Taking Back Sunday- 152

Best Got Dad Doing the Springsteen Voice in My Car: Gaslight Anthem-History Books

Biggest Disappointment for an Up & Comer, But Still, Hey, Not Bad There, Pal: Petey- USA

Others I Also Liked But Don't Have a Superlative For: Bully- Lucky For You, Liza Anne - Utopian, Bad Books II Revisited, Ben Folds - What Matters Most, Saturdays At Your Place- Always Cloudy EP

Best New Artist (to me): Carly Cosgrove “Don’t Lick the Swingset”

Favorite Concert: Manchester Orchestra w/Jimmy Eat World at the Salt Shed in Chicago, August 16th

Favorite Local Show: The …And We Drive 20th Anniversary Show with Side Walk Slam, Wes Hoffman & Friends, and Wayside on Sept 16th at PK’s in Carbondale

Favorite New Local Band: Wayside

Top 10 Daddest Things I Did All Year

1- Told the neighbor his dog pooped in our yard then went out there in slides to show him where the poop was (the next day the neighbor had a For Sale sign in his yard)

2- said the phrase “you bet your butts” in a group chat and then hated myself the rest of the day when no one else responded

3- took pickup basketball way too seriously

4- drove the van all the way to Disney World and kept remarking on how we were making “pretty good time actually.”

5- got oddly emotional at the Star Wars part of Disney World?

6- tried to start multiple conversations about the congressional hearings concerning UFO Disclosure. Few people were interested but then I still proceeded to have the convo anyway.

7- the week after we saw the new Ninja Turtles movie, I broke out all my old Ninja Turtles action figures to show Eli and he wasn’t near as impressed as I thought he would be.

8- came way too prepared for the fantasy football draft

9- taught Ezra how to drive the van in an empty church parking lot

10- waited until after Christmas to buy new Christmas lights even though we had multiple strands of lights out on our house.

And Now a Long Rambling Run On Sentence About Most Everything Else:

Started the year and all my shirts were backwards in my closet, days passed without me knowing why all my shirts were backwards in my closet, I started wondering if I had merged with an alternate reality or maybe I had died(?) so I didn’t say anything about it until, one day, Stacy was like “oh yeah I put all your shirts backwards in your closet so you notice which ones you aren’t wearing as much,” and I was like “oh, yeah, for sure, that’s a smart thing to do,” without saying much else about it, on January 20th, friends Jon, Joelyn, and Brady opened the Gambit Coffee Bar in WF and had a big weekend to celebrate, we laughed way too hard about Jorts, Rush Hour 2, and a guy named Thad, sang Dragula at karaoke, had a short story and poem accepted into the local literary magazine, then February and March came, and they were among the hardest months we ever had, really no way to get around that, but too find some positives, I was so proud of how Stacy, Diane, Ezra, and Eli made it through all of it, Ewan too, I guess, but he’s just a baby, though he was a nice distraction of obliviousness so…yeah, I’m proud of how Ewan made it through too, KD was traded to the Suns at 4am somewhere in there, went to the Volo museum up north as a make-up trip for Ezra’s birthday, Ezra was so excited about it all, reminding us that he’s still just a kid even though he talks like a grown up most the time, Ezzy had to make three trips around every show room, 1- to take it in, 2- to explain everything, 3 to take pictures, we went to The Jurassic Gardens and Eli kept reprimanding me for acting like I was going to let the Dinosaurs bite my hand, Stacy was totally prepared for lunch and was rightfully proud of herself, got a Michael Finley jersey from the haunted antique store that was way too big, but the real scary steal was the $1 Baby Link that now rides in the Flex and Stacy thinks is hilarious and Ewan hates, Eli drank not one but two cups of (potentially?) soured milk, road-tripped with Wes to Nashville for the half-marathon, repaid him for his friendship by making him go see a three hour movie instead of going out in Nashville, Eli Fest, had a work trip to Chicago, went to an improv show with Joe, ran around the city, got lost running around the city, made it back, Matt came to visit, we both got somewhat emotional about the racoon scenes in Guardians of the Galaxy 3, James Harden had two of the best playoff games of his career, and then followed them up with his typical postseason play, had the book release show at Gambit for Our Extended Universe, was so moved hearing Stacy & Ethan read for their characters at the show, along with all the friends that came out to show their support, went to an independent wrestling thing in Pinckneyville with Tyler, learned there are DIY communities and underground scenes built around all kinds of things, a healing Fourth of July family weekend, comedy show with friends, pizza and hangs with family, won the young fellas basketball game, Elemental with Stacy and the boys, saw my book in the Carbondale Barnes & Noble for the first time ever, which I still can’t believe, saw a helicopter in a field off Stiritz road and like a bunch of cars waiting beneath it then they all dispersed as I came up the road and I kept telling people about this but I sounded dumber and dumber each time I talked about it because it’s like “it was just a helicopter in a field, Dane, big deal,” but really come on, something weird seems like it’s going on out between Herrin and WF, also, later on, another weird thing, my phone was stolen from my van at the park even though we were playing basketball literally like ten feet away from it, but then Major sent texts to my phone like he was Liam Neeson in Taken and whoever stole it ditched it in the creek, probably the helicopter people, because they knew how close I was getting to the truth, anyways, after leaving it in rice overnight, my phone was mostly fine (though my sense of security was forever threatened!), Nashville weekend for David’s 42.5 birthday, had an Air BNB with the Clifton’s and the Raby’s, and it was so wonderful to have all of us under the same roof for two nights, had the fantasy football combine out at Nick’s, went swimming, saw The Copyrights and Laura Jane Grace in a parking lot in Carbondale with a great group of friends, turning 41 is more sobering and scarier than turning 40, had a great weekend with old friends as Side Walk Slam came to town, road-tripped to Disney World and even got Nana to come with us, we made really good time, met Ethan & Erin there, one morning there, I got up early to get coffee and breakfast for everyone, I balanced a big tray all the way back across from the cafeteria back up to our room, pounded on the door with my foot for someone to let me in since I couldn’t really get the door handle on account of the giant tray I was balancing, but my family were all being negligent and didn’t answer the door, so I pounded a little bit louder and said, “Hey! It’s me!” then a very tired yet patient middle-aged Hispanic man opened the door and I realized I got off on the wrong floor, I said “Oh my, oh my, I am so incredibly sorry, I’m an idiot,” then I never spoke of it again until now, went to Disney Springs and watched the Rams game on my phone while in line for the Lego store (but I was still totally present, okay?), made friends with an Eagles fan, Ezra got a freaking pretzel, went to Magic Kingdom and Ewan loved riding the magic carpets so much that he got mad when we had to get off, rode the Tron ride with Ethan and laughed the whole time, Ezra and Eli rode almost everything they could, went to Epcot and, although it was just day two, that was maybe our crankiest day, but all things considered it wasn’t so bad, Eli rode the Guardians of the Galaxy ride despite some hesitation, and the whole time he yelled with glee about how he just left his butt behind, Ewan selected Portugese on the fifteen minute trek to the top of the golf ball, which honestly made it better despite me not understanding anything that was going on, Ezra jumped the line at guest relations to retrieve Stacy’s lost backpack thus saving us like two hours of painful exhaustion, we rode the skyliner back and all seemed right in the world, maybe the Epcot day was actually the best one, went back to the Magic Kingdom, Ewan loved Goofy’s Barnstomer, seriously, his smile on that ride added minutes to my life, then, in an awe-inspiring Oscar worthy performance, Ethan played Madame de la Grande Bouche (the wardrobe) in Belle’s Beauty & the Beast Story Time, we weaved through a tough crowd to make it to dinner and had the best spot for fireworks, Stacy got to Corona after nightfall, went to Hollywood Studios, Muppets 3D, I should have got Eli that stuffed loth cat when we had the chance because they all got sold out, Ezra begrudgingly rode Twilight Zone Tower of Terror, he didn’t talk for like five minutes afterwards and didn’t know if he liked it or not, Galaxy’s Edge was incredible, a storm trooper got testy with me, Stacy watched my face the whole time on Rise of the Resistance and it felt incredible to be loved to much, Eli and Ezra rode the Slinky Dog together and were having a ball, Stacy & Ewan left to pick up Nana from Ocala, we waited up late to catch up with Nana back at the resort, went to Animal Kingdom, met Mickey again, Nana was a great sport the whole time despite the heat and the crowd, Eli loved the Safari ride, could’ve skipped Rafiki’s Island since it seemed like we got marooned there, Ewan was cute combing those goats though, we all could’ve cried as the day wound down and we were over in the Pandora area with the sunsetting, some of us did cry, because we knew how difficult the year had been, all that we had gotten through to get there, and we all missed Steve, we all made it, on the ride home, rather than being tired, Stacy and I talked about how we kinda wanted to do that whole trip all over again, James Harden was traded to the Clippers, Louisville Book Festival Weekend marked the first time Stacy and I had a weekend away since 2019, it was awesome to meet some new readers, including a local Louisville rapper named Johnny Spanish, but, for real, it was even better to just get some time together with Stacy, we ate at the Old Spaghetti Factory and walked around downtown Louisville, and talked the whole ride there and back, Marion Library trusted me to talk about writing, went up to Joliet for Thanksgiving, our neighbors upstairs at the hotel made so much noise all night long we seriously wondered if they were keeping a hostage up there, went to Seattle for a work trip, hung out with Romann’, saw a troll under a bridge, rode electric scooters around the downtown, found an old copy of Cat’s Cradle at a used bookstore, there was a beautiful view wherever you looked, got super homesick, watching Interstellar on the flight home didn’t help that feeling, Eli made his first bucket ever, the Popit-Johns alliance remains strong, had friends over to watch the Rams-Saints game, played basketball and had friends Christmas lunch, Ezra and I helped get new tires on Dad’s truck and cleaned it up for him, he made it down to Paducah for Christmas with the Durfee’s, Christmas morning was what we hoped it would be, Ethan & Jason made it down, went swimming at the Hub for Ewan’s birthday, Ewan finally learned the joy of opening presents, despite not ever wearing a shirt, we repeat all the little sayings he has over and over, never failing to make us smile, we made it through, and I still have some shirts backwards in my closet.

Thanks for reading.

Happy New Year.